I am writing today as a response to what I have witnessed happening in the church where my husband and I were attending– I say were, because the situation there has become so out-of-whack, so painful, that we can no longer find sanctuary there.
Here I must tell you that I participated in discussions about the problems and where the blame must be placed, and it with great sorrow that I admit it. What my actions resulted in for me is that I became a part of the problem. It takes very little weakness to get involved in the fray of destruction. It takes great strength to stand firmly in the Word in God and rise above being a little, little person.
Please believe me when I say this. If your church is having problems, rest assured that you are not alone. Churches small and large from their conception after Pentecost have experienced conflict in varying degrees. As to why, there is a very simple answer. As to how to fix it, there is also a very simple answer.
As to how to get from one point to another — therein lies the problem.
I do not speak as an expert, I speak as one who has experienced the situation multiple times. So as to what I say here, I hope that as you read you will see some logic and reasonable choices of what you may do in your situation.
From where does the initiation of conflict come?
It is part of the human nature to be in conflict, and a part of that conflict is the need for control–of our own situation and of others. Ah! You may say, But that is before we are transformed into new beings by the power of the Holy Spirit. Those who remain in conflict are not really Christian, there has been no true transformation for them.
If the measure of the amount of conflict outwardly shown and within the soul were the measure of whether or not a person is truly a Christian, there would most likely be one–and only one–teeny tiny church on this planet because no more would be needed.
Look at it this way. If our transformation into Godliness were completed by only one zap we would not need the continual saving grace of Jesus Christ, because His work would be complete. The Apostle Paul in Romans 7:19 would not need to have said, For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do. Peter, knowing Jesus intimately and believing in Him without doubt would not have denied Him three times. The Corinthian community would not need have been admonished.
I write hear as a sinner, one in the same rotten boat as everyone else. I relate to what Paul says in the verse above, as I suspect you would also if you looked honestly into your own soul. Human free will is a blessing–and also our downfall.
With it we decide for ourselves all too often what should not be left to God to handle.
We look at how we have been wronged and how we might obtain justice, even though it is at the expense of others.
We may call where we worship God’s church yet want to control what goes on there, having our way and letting all who don’t roll over take the highway, not caring how much damage inside their hearts they take with them.
We bend the truth or sensationalize just enough (after all, it’s just a little lie — right?) so that our agenda looks better and more appealing to our support group. (What?? Do you think God turns His back when a little lie is told?)
We may go around agreeing others about how terrible it is, how the truth is impossible to find, and at the same time join in with everyone else in keeping the ball rolling by spreading rumors and offering unsubstantiated opinion.
When it gets to the point where our Christian walk is compromised by our lack of control over our own free will — what then? We have not only then opened the door for Satan to come in, we have written an invitation with Jesus’ blood and sent it off to hell to tell him we are ready and waiting.
This–this awful, horrendous breakdown of the Christian church that can and does at times turn more evil than you or I could imagine ahead of time becomes a snowball rolling downhill after a blizzard. It becomes the eye of an hurricane out of control.
Do not ever think that your church is immune. Rather, gird yourselves as the Bible tells you to do by putting on the full armor of God, always staying close to His word in Holy Scripture.
What does Holy Scripture tell us about how we are to conduct ourselves?
Speech: Ephesians 4:29 Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for edifying, as fits the occasion, that it may impart grace to those who hear.
Actions: James 4:6 But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.
When wronged: Matthew 5:38 Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.
Forgiveness: Matthew 6:14-15 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Judging Others:
- John 8:7 So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.
- Matthew 7:1-5 Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.
Power & Control: James 4:1-4 From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members? Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not. Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts. Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.
Please look with me carefully at James 4:1-4 under this consideration. In the Christian sense the church is not the physical building where we come together. The building is an inanimate object built with inanimate things. It is a place to habitate. What the Christian church is comprised of is people as the Body of Christ with Jesus as its head.
When there is conflict, have we who make up the Body of Christ not lusted after our own interests? Have we not lusted for control and power? Have we not sold out, prostituted to human desires the Body of Christ?
Where then has the Head of the Body of Christ (Jesus) in which the thinking mind resides gone? How can Jesus tell us to come back to Him, to stop in our tracks and reverse the destructive path we are speeding down if we have set Him down somewhere unknown? How many nails shall we pound back into His resurrected body as we re-crucify Him?
How many of us, if not all, place our own agenda in the foreground and call out as the Disciples did at their last meal with Jesus as in Matthew 26, Is it I, Lord? — without knowing, without understanding, that when a church breaks down we are all part of the problem, that every person needs to ask for forgiveness?
The answer to why forgiveness in not asked brings human nature into play. It is foolish pride. Yet, in 1Corinthians 1:27 Paul states that the foolish was chosen to confound the wise. Does it matter that you may feel that you have done no wrong? No, it really doesn’t matter.
There is only one who in the end needs to know who was right and who was wrong, and that is Jesus Christ who is coming again and will judge the deeds of all. In the meantime, is your justice/power and control of your desires so important as to supercede the good of the whole Body of Christ? Are your needs so important that you allow Satan to come into your church and wreak havoc on the innocent as well as the wrong doers?
Moving on from here, what are the options when you find yourself in this situation? Here are a few ideas.
- If you are finding yourself in conflict because of wrong doing, pray and pray and pray for guidance as to whether you should leave for the well-being of your church, or if you should stay and attempt to work it out without bringing everyone into your problem, thus (most likely) taking sides.
- Remembering that the first reason you are in church is the relationship between you and Jesus Christ and to be spiritually fed, think upon whether or not this can happen with unresolved conflict. God gave us the body of believers for support and also to do His will here on earth. Can you fully support and involve yourself in this work if you are going to remain in conflict? Should you be going to communion? If you answer yes, then stay. If you answer no, then move on.
- Have you yourself, without any doubt in your mind, followed Biblical teachings regarding whatever is the root of the conflict–every single teaching? Have you held no anger towards the offending party/parties? Have you gone to them first alone, then if necessary with a witness? Have you never lied or manipulated to get your way? Have you turned the entire situation over to God to handle and are in complete peace? Have you said nothing hurtful to anyone? Have you not gossiped or spoken about it with other believers? If you answer yes–then you are Jesus returned to earth. If you answer no–which will be the truth–then you need to ask for forgiveness.
Talking about the need for forgiveness does not count. Asking for forgiveness counts. Asking to protect your own interests yields a minus. Trusting in God and doing the right thing yields a plus. Blaming everyone but yourself may get you an eternal trip to a warm place. Being honest will most likely get you a walk up those golden stairs and through the pearly gates.
Where then will the justice be for those who have been wronged? Here is the plain, honest truth. There may not be justice on this earth at anytime. You may think you cannot live with this outcome. I am telling you that is possible by doing the opposite of what is logical–by praying for those who you feel have been wrong, by forgiving them in your heart from the very first moment the wrong happened, and then repeating these two steps over and over again.
Trust and believe God when He says He will take care of you because He will–if you let him. It make take a short time, it may take a long time, but you will have peace. I have been there, done that, and it works. Guaranteed. Justice is an outward action that ultimately gives no one inner peace — the reason it is called “inner” is because it needs to come from within, from your forgiven soul through the grace of Jesus Christ. He is the one who heals the heart and mind.
May God bless your journey each and every day.
babamarusia — Mary Katherine May